To My Daughters

I've been witnessing the buzz surrounding women in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints who are demanding they receive the priesthood.  When their leader was excommunicated, I saw several sad women ask, "But what do I tell my daughters?"  As a mother of four daughters, I felt saddened by this, because for me, there is no question what I teach them.  This prompted this post.  Writing it was therapeutic for me.  It is personal.  I share it because I made a personal promise that I would share my testimony where given the opportunity.

To My Daughters,

You are growing up in a crazy world.  A world where values and morals are quickly disappearing.  A world where your opinions are valued, but only if they are politically correct.  A world where we can no longer call sin, sin.  A world where others feel they are not loved and accepted if we do not condone their actions.  A world that is stepping farther and farther away from God.  A world where other women may tell you that you are not enough, that you need more to be successful in this life.  A world where the very definition of “family” is being tested.  It is frightening to bring a child into this world, knowing what you’ll have to face in your future.  I can only imagine.  You’ll have to stand tall, be brave.  You’ll have to be taught and have a sure foundation.  I want you to be anchored to something that will bring you peace.  Something that, even in the greatest storms of life, will give you protection and save you from being spiritually destroyed.  This is a big challenge for a mother, and I hope and pray that I have it in me to show you the way, for you must attach yourself to the Rock of your salvation; I cannot do it for you.

My dear daughters, it is an honor to be a woman.  Your gender is part of your identity and it is no mistake.  You have beautiful, in-born characteristics that are unique to being a woman.  That is special.  Don’t let anyone tell you that you need to have all that a man has in order for you to be of worth.  That is a lie that Satan would like you to believe.  Men are special and unique in their own ways, and together, the two of you make something designed for the eternities.  Men and women need each other to be different. 

My hope is that someday, you will meet a man who will love you and want to spend eternity with you, and you will feel the same towards him.  Together, you will stand equal before God.  You will parent together.  You will make big life decisions together.  You will serve together.  Your husband is responsible to protect, provide, and preside in the home.  That word, preside, scares a lot of people these days.  They think it means to “rule over”, but that is not the meaning the Lord has given us.  Honestly, it is difficult to put into words, but when you see it, you know it’s there.  It means that your husband will be responsible to lead the family in righteousness, with you right there by his side, and encouraging him where necessary.  Heavenly Father is a God of order.  He has a system that He follows, and has since the beginning of time.  I believe that the husband, righteously presiding in the home, is part of this order.  I am so grateful for your father.  You are blessed to have such a good example of what it looks like to preside righteously.  It is important to both of us that we read the scriptures together as a family, pray together as a family, and have family home evening.  We both make sure this happens.  But he knows that he has a special responsibility to make sure that our family stays close to the Lord.  He makes sure that the gospel is taught in our home, that we attend our meetings.  He holds the priesthood worthily and I’ve seen the joy and peace as he has used it in our home to bless us all.  I know that I have full access to priesthood power through your dad.  And, in those times in your life where you may not have a priesthood holder in your home (you can’t live with us forever), you will always find access to that power around you.  Remember that a man holding the priesthood cannot bless himself.  It is only for the blessing of others.  And it certainly has nothing to do with pride, and wanting it for the power of it.   

Never degrade or diminish the important roles that priesthood holders have.  Just as a woman has certain roles and responsibilities divinely given them, men also have roles and responsibilities designed by our Heavenly Father.  One of our jobs, as children of God, is to encourage the best in others.  Please uplift and help all people around you, including encouraging the young men and men in your life to hold their priesthood worthily.  They, too, should encourage and support you in your roles as a woman. 

Only a woman can become a mother.  That is a very special role that I hope you get a chance to experience.  I can’t even put in words how much I love you.  How much I desire for you.  How much being a mother has changed me as a person.  I am so grateful that I have the opportunity to be with you, to be the one to teach you how to be kind to others, how to tie your shoes, to teach you about a loving Father in Heaven.  Motherhood is belittled in this crazy world.  There will be many who tell you that you can do more good by climbing corporate ladders.  They will tell you women should work because more money will provide greater advantage for your kids.  They will tell you that being home with children is not fair, because we should not be treated any differently from men.  They will trivialize the importance of mothers.  I know that a lot of mothers have to work, but that’s not the point.  The point is this:  mothers are important.  Being a mother is the greatest opportunity to create good in this world.  I hope I am teaching you so that when it is time for you to go out on your own, you will be prepared to take on whatever comes your way, and especially to be a light to others.  What greater power could I, or you, or any woman ask for?  There is no better way to change the world than to love and teach a child.  This is a huge responsibility.  The Lord does not take it lightly, and neither do I.  I do all I can to be with you and take these opportunities to teach.  That is why the Lord wants mothers at home.  I’m convinced that is why He hasn’t asked women to carry the leadership of the church.  He needs women who will put heart and soul into motherhood, because he needs young men and young women who know and love the gospel and who will live it and give the world hope.  Do you see that vision?  It is powerful, and it belongs to you.  Take those beautiful things that belong only to women and make the world a better place. 

I do not trivialize the importance of fathers.  They also teach and love their children, and they are necessary, but as discussed above, genders have been given, naturally, those gifts that make them suited to their roles.  Mothers do a better job mothering children than fathers.  It’s been proven.  Is there any question?  Also, I know not all women have the opportunity to bare and mother their own children.  Does this mean they cannot fulfill their roles given them?  NO!  For, all women are given opportunities to be “mothers”.  Perhaps not in blood, but we all can nurture and love as only women can.

I want to talk about modesty for just a moment.  The world loves a sexy woman:  low-cut tops and bottoms to “show what you got”.  My dear girls, that may be what the world wants of you, but it is not what the Lord wants for you.  We were given bodies, and we respect and love those bodies.  We show that respect by caring for them, and covering them appropriately.  This also shows respect for others.  This does have to do with sexuality, for our bodies are built (male and female) to respond to stimulus.  We were given the power of procreation to be exercised within the bounds that the Lord has set.  And that begins with modesty.  I, personally, made the choice to be modest because I know that is what the Lord has asked of us.  I have made promises with the Lord that I will dress modestly, and I hope that you too will want to stand apart from the world in this way.  I know that it has been a blessing in my life. 

My daughters, I want you to know that your worth is immeasurable.  You are a daughter of God and He loves you.  My prayer is that you come to know Him, and feel His guiding and loving influence in your life.  He will lead and guide you.  He will bring you peace.  When you make and keep covenants with Him, you will be protected.  I have felt this in my life, and I hope you will too.  There will be many times in your life when you are confused.  You may be unsure of the path you should take.   You may have questions about His gospel.  There are always things that we, as mortals, do not understand.  Go, ask Him in prayer.  He will answer.  It may not always be the answer we want.  We may not receive it when we want.  We may not receive it in the way we expect.  But, He will always answer.  I will add that we can trust His prophets.  When we start nit-picking what our modern-day prophets are telling us, we are walking on dangerous ground.  When we follow the prophet, we will always be blessed.

From where I stand, your future is looking pretty bright.

Go and do good.  Be grateful.

I love you,

Your Mom