I was giving a lame excuse as to why I couldn't do something that I should have done the other week, and my friend responded, basically, that with having five young children, I wasn't a slacker, I was a saint. I get told things like this quite a bit, all of which I don't deserve. I'm flattered, really, but I'm afraid it's not true. Having five kids does not make me amazing, or super-human, or an automatic awesome mom. It just makes me a little crazier than most, ya know? To be completely truthful, having five littles just about plows me over every day. I get up at the end of the day when my kids are sleeping peacefully in their beds, dust myself off, go "Phew! We all made it!" And then do it again the next day. Don't get me wrong, I love where I am in my life. It is all-consuming and drags out the best and the worst in me, but I love it.
Which brings me to another something I've been thinking a lot about and needs to come off my chest. You know the hardest part about being a mother? Being judged. Not by others, mind you, but by my own self. I've always been hard on myself, but being a mom just multiplies that x10. I hear a little voice in my head telling me that I shouldn't have yelled, I should spend more quality time with my kids, I should clean more, I shouldn't talk to my kids in my 'mean voice', I should snuggle them more, teach them more, BE more! Does anyone else feel this way? What do you do to keep the "voices" at bay? Come on women, I need your input. I have this ideal of the perfect mother, and every single day I fall short of it. Every day. It's hard to always be striving for something that you'll never, in this life, achieve. Wow, that's kind of depressing. We need something happy around here to lighten the mood. How about this wonderful little something:
Yup, baby girl learned how to stand this last week! Holy cow moly! She is growing entirely too fast. By this age, my other kids were happy just to be sitting up and playing with toys. Not this little darling. She's on the move, even in 3-6 month clothes that still don't quite fit her.
And does anyone else's kids look like this, like, 70% of the time (I may be exaggerating just a bit)?
A tablet in the house is new for us (I know, it's about time we got with the times, eh?), so perhaps the novelty will wear off? I hope? Lainey calls it "my puter" and gets really mad when I tell her she's had enough. See, I can hear that little voice in my head saying, "your kids have too much screen time." Guilt! Be gone!
More of Miss Daisy:
Oooh, she's sweet.
And, a funny little something... I printed some 5x7s of my babies to frame and hang in our bedroom. All these photos were taken when our babies were just a few weeks old. Sweet new babies... Anyway, no one in our family knows who is who except for me. What do you think? Could you guess who's who?
4 comments:
Top left: M
Top right: Ev
Center: D
Bottom left: L
Bottom right: El
Yep. Totally agree with Alicia.
I was going to say the same thing Alicia said, so if it is wrong, we're all wrong together! It is fun to look at your kids and see all of the family resemblances. I can see a lot of Jeremy in that photo of Daisy standing. And you're a great mother. I figure we do our best and all we can do is leave the rest for therapy to straighten out. :) Kids are wonderful though. What a blessing families are!
I love what you wrote. You put my feelings in to words. Motherhood is no picnic and mostly because of the guilt we place upon ourselves. I am not sure what will help but for now I try really hard to praise myself on the better days. Good Luck! I really do think that Saint Wendy has a nice ring to it though.;)
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